Women all around the world have been victims of dangers on the streets. Fear is hence a global phenomena that manifests itself through the scorching eyes of many a men.
The great imbalance in justice causes victims or potential victims to safeguard their own selves through varied means. For the oppressers have no fear.
But what if the situation is turned arouund and the potential victim is not a victim anymore, and the oppresser harnesses fear?
There is a critical moment between a man following a woman and a man raising his hand on a woman, That is the moment the ownership of power is established, generally with the oppresser. Before that, the oppresser and the woman are more or less at the same level.
What if at that moment, the woman instead of considering herself weak, stares the man in his eyes and tells herself that he cant harm her? If not complete safety, if not complete power, atleast a few moments of the man's bewilderment could give her an opportunity to reach a safer place.
What if a woman instead of accepting her physical weakness or her defeat, hits the man with all her might, bites him like a scavanger, or maybe rip apart his eye lash, or hair, or tear the ear just a bit........we tend to forget the immense pain their body can be inflicted with if we accept our victimization.
We are all powerful in our own ways, and if we accept this, maybe our survival instincts would keep us safer, atleast better than what the current state is....
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Democracy (taught in Civics in the prison called School)
Freedom of choice, the right and the confidence to take your own decisions....a little alien riding your bicycle....all of these seem equally incredulous and fragments of imagination in our society.
I want the street dog to trust me as I call for him and not to consider me another monster who would kick him.
I want my nephew to choose what he wants to learn and how he wants to learn.I cannot bear to see him sulking and vanishing in his agony.
I want my friends to have no fear of family, future, salaries, and prospective husbands/wives as they undertake their chosen fields.
I want my elders to be free of the pressures created by their neighbours' gossips, people's remarks/ judgements/comparisons, fear of illness/theft/cheating, and television.
I want people to know that they need money more to sustain themselves and their unique needs than to buy the riches that their counterparts might have.
I want the world to know that we are not obliged to anyone to live in the slavery that we do.....that though there are many risks, fear is only making it worst for us....that though we take care of ourselves, we are irresponsible towards the rest.....and that the world is still a beautiful place if only we learn what really is democracy.
I want the street dog to trust me as I call for him and not to consider me another monster who would kick him.
I want my nephew to choose what he wants to learn and how he wants to learn.I cannot bear to see him sulking and vanishing in his agony.
I want my friends to have no fear of family, future, salaries, and prospective husbands/wives as they undertake their chosen fields.
I want my elders to be free of the pressures created by their neighbours' gossips, people's remarks/ judgements/comparisons, fear of illness/theft/cheating, and television.
I want people to know that they need money more to sustain themselves and their unique needs than to buy the riches that their counterparts might have.
I want the world to know that we are not obliged to anyone to live in the slavery that we do.....that though there are many risks, fear is only making it worst for us....that though we take care of ourselves, we are irresponsible towards the rest.....and that the world is still a beautiful place if only we learn what really is democracy.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Learning through Relations
A few months ago, I was sitting and having a lively chat with my nephew when suddenly I changed the topic to his school. He told me he hated it and that many of his teachers used illogical techniques to teach....I tried to defy his school, cheating my own self, hiding my own agony over institutionalized systems, all in vain.
"Why should I write a word 100 times when i misspelled it just once....does she think I wont repeat the mistake this way? I wont, for I hate the word so much now that I wont use it." said that little boy of 11....I had no answer.
He came to meet me some weeks after that, and picked up an Illustrated book on Birds, followed by a Graphic Novel on making Graphic Novels..and read silently...quite unlike his usual fits of temper when forced to prepare for the neverending Tests. We discussed the queries that sprouted from his inquisitiveness, created by the medium and the relationship that we share.
This incident reminded me of the time he had acted for a movie I had made on children. All that I told him was that I trusted him, and he did a marvellous job along with his friends. They themselves planned many scenes and their facial expressions were nothing less than remarkable.Ten year old boys, who had never really acted before. They were not my nephew's friends that day, they were my partners, and we made a movie together!
Isn't it true, that we end up learning a lot about life itself when in the company friends or people we are comfortable with?
When the fear of the other person being superior/judgemental/authoritative is gone and respect and trust are established, learning becomes a desire/a subconscious happening/an active participation/ something natural.
The learning itself becomes a part fo relationship just like meeting and hugging and sharing secrets....
"Why should I write a word 100 times when i misspelled it just once....does she think I wont repeat the mistake this way? I wont, for I hate the word so much now that I wont use it." said that little boy of 11....I had no answer.
He came to meet me some weeks after that, and picked up an Illustrated book on Birds, followed by a Graphic Novel on making Graphic Novels..and read silently...quite unlike his usual fits of temper when forced to prepare for the neverending Tests. We discussed the queries that sprouted from his inquisitiveness, created by the medium and the relationship that we share.
This incident reminded me of the time he had acted for a movie I had made on children. All that I told him was that I trusted him, and he did a marvellous job along with his friends. They themselves planned many scenes and their facial expressions were nothing less than remarkable.Ten year old boys, who had never really acted before. They were not my nephew's friends that day, they were my partners, and we made a movie together!
Isn't it true, that we end up learning a lot about life itself when in the company friends or people we are comfortable with?
When the fear of the other person being superior/judgemental/authoritative is gone and respect and trust are established, learning becomes a desire/a subconscious happening/an active participation/ something natural.
The learning itself becomes a part fo relationship just like meeting and hugging and sharing secrets....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Strong are those..who cry
"I hate it when someone cries in public"- A
"C always cried when she was a kid, ha ha ha"- B
Is crying a weakness?
Is expressing grief or mourning over something that causes pain, or disturbance..weakness?
"Yes"- echo
"No"- says I
Tears are the most healing and natural purgative available to mankind. We did not learn how to cry, we were born with it. What we did learn, was to hide it.
I have always cried when I felt the need to. I was mocked at, scolded and sympathsied with ....varying from person to person. All of these were wrong!
We generally don't cry for sympathy, and no one cries naturally to exhibit weakness...we cry to come to terms with a difficult reality, to face it and to accept it, so that we can get strong enough to move ahead with it.
Those who repress it, as some of my male friends do, show symptoms of disturbance...they could get more irritable, break things, hurt themselves, hurt others...
I Love to give it all out...its an elating moment....
I'll share a personal experience...
When I was in school, I hated examinations, they were for me the most pressurizing times, for I would unnecessarily, make myself answerable to the whole world through my performance.
Since I hated them so much, I obviously never prepared for them in adavance, which led to a massive burden on the eve of the examination.
For a little girl, it was indeed an enormous bundle of tention and grief, and I would cry to release it, to accept it.
It resulted in me feeling extremely light and generally happier, and then having acceptyed the reality I would simply sit down to study with all my energies focussed at one place. The result: Good Performance.
No matter, how much people scoffed at it, and called me weak, I never stopped crying, if i felt the need to ease myself through it.
However now that I am 21, I at times try to stop myself from crying, which I did a few months back when I was faced with many upheavels and sudden changes. I told myself, I wont cry, there is no need. I detached my being from my psyche, the result: I was most irritable and fighting with almost everybody, without being able to understand why?
One night, I asked myself, to redo all the events that had distrubed me months ago in my mind, and silently cried.....
I am at peace now and working happily.
I am much more in control and am dealing well with life, for tears don't weaken, at times they help to get stronger.
"C always cried when she was a kid, ha ha ha"- B
Is crying a weakness?
Is expressing grief or mourning over something that causes pain, or disturbance..weakness?
"Yes"- echo
"No"- says I
Tears are the most healing and natural purgative available to mankind. We did not learn how to cry, we were born with it. What we did learn, was to hide it.
I have always cried when I felt the need to. I was mocked at, scolded and sympathsied with ....varying from person to person. All of these were wrong!
We generally don't cry for sympathy, and no one cries naturally to exhibit weakness...we cry to come to terms with a difficult reality, to face it and to accept it, so that we can get strong enough to move ahead with it.
Those who repress it, as some of my male friends do, show symptoms of disturbance...they could get more irritable, break things, hurt themselves, hurt others...
I Love to give it all out...its an elating moment....
I'll share a personal experience...
When I was in school, I hated examinations, they were for me the most pressurizing times, for I would unnecessarily, make myself answerable to the whole world through my performance.
Since I hated them so much, I obviously never prepared for them in adavance, which led to a massive burden on the eve of the examination.
For a little girl, it was indeed an enormous bundle of tention and grief, and I would cry to release it, to accept it.
It resulted in me feeling extremely light and generally happier, and then having acceptyed the reality I would simply sit down to study with all my energies focussed at one place. The result: Good Performance.
No matter, how much people scoffed at it, and called me weak, I never stopped crying, if i felt the need to ease myself through it.
However now that I am 21, I at times try to stop myself from crying, which I did a few months back when I was faced with many upheavels and sudden changes. I told myself, I wont cry, there is no need. I detached my being from my psyche, the result: I was most irritable and fighting with almost everybody, without being able to understand why?
One night, I asked myself, to redo all the events that had distrubed me months ago in my mind, and silently cried.....
I am at peace now and working happily.
I am much more in control and am dealing well with life, for tears don't weaken, at times they help to get stronger.
Monday, January 18, 2010
How dynamic is their Dynamism
During a heated discussion with a very experienced gentleman, I came to think about rigid Constructs....
And realized that possibely no intangible construct can really be static....they all have to be dynamic...they grow/evolve/change with time, place, people and innumerable seen and unseen forces be they natural or manmade....
So be it myths that are today becoming contemporary or be it games that have risen from simple to complicated and from entertainment and learning to competition, or be it our perceptions of need that have risen from basic to neverending, everything is dynamic....every thought is dynamic.....every construct is dynamic...Then what happens to the age old creations called Nation States, Laws and Wars......are they not supposed to get contemporary...are they not supposed to get dynamic?
In our country, three things are inevitably delayed....1. Security 2. Medical Aid 3. Justice.........To add on to it, there is such steep economic disparity that the greater percentage of those who cannot afford the riches, probably give up hopes to ever receive it........
There are more criminal reforms than there is an understanding of victimology.....One needs to have cash or their life is not valued......People incharge of our safety are generally busier in other important tasks such as vindicating unfortunate young couples from cities for protecting honour and holiness (this unchallenged duty is mostly ignored when a woman complaining of her honour being violated goes to them to seek help)
If someone dies on a road, if someone gets raped, if someone is harrassed by family/spouse/institute/office .....they only get further harrassed by the courts....
And the most rigid of them all is the rigidity in our roleplay...I think we love to be victimized...We love to believe that power comes with job, money or position in society....And we completely raise those at such high pedestals that being normal humans they cant help but give in to the greed of violating our own selves.....
Be it an advocate or a jury member for a competition...we love to feel low and underconfident about ourselves..we love to call them Gods ....We are not being humble, we are being fools and unnecessarily we give others the liberty to feel that they can overpower us..and in this vicious game of powerplay they go to great lengths to hurt us...
....When children question such obviously rigid structures , parents say "forget it, this system cannot be faught, lets stay out of this mess..."..........We ourselves are becoming static, like puppets whose puppeteers are these structures, and we get dynamic only when they pull our strings to support their rigidity with our silence........
Lets speak out....lets question.......lets bring a change.......Lets empower ourselves....Lets coem together to build a socirty that is rational and humane
And realized that possibely no intangible construct can really be static....they all have to be dynamic...they grow/evolve/change with time, place, people and innumerable seen and unseen forces be they natural or manmade....
So be it myths that are today becoming contemporary or be it games that have risen from simple to complicated and from entertainment and learning to competition, or be it our perceptions of need that have risen from basic to neverending, everything is dynamic....every thought is dynamic.....every construct is dynamic...Then what happens to the age old creations called Nation States, Laws and Wars......are they not supposed to get contemporary...are they not supposed to get dynamic?
In our country, three things are inevitably delayed....1. Security 2. Medical Aid 3. Justice.........To add on to it, there is such steep economic disparity that the greater percentage of those who cannot afford the riches, probably give up hopes to ever receive it........
There are more criminal reforms than there is an understanding of victimology.....One needs to have cash or their life is not valued......People incharge of our safety are generally busier in other important tasks such as vindicating unfortunate young couples from cities for protecting honour and holiness (this unchallenged duty is mostly ignored when a woman complaining of her honour being violated goes to them to seek help)
If someone dies on a road, if someone gets raped, if someone is harrassed by family/spouse/institute/office .....they only get further harrassed by the courts....
And the most rigid of them all is the rigidity in our roleplay...I think we love to be victimized...We love to believe that power comes with job, money or position in society....And we completely raise those at such high pedestals that being normal humans they cant help but give in to the greed of violating our own selves.....
Be it an advocate or a jury member for a competition...we love to feel low and underconfident about ourselves..we love to call them Gods ....We are not being humble, we are being fools and unnecessarily we give others the liberty to feel that they can overpower us..and in this vicious game of powerplay they go to great lengths to hurt us...
....When children question such obviously rigid structures , parents say "forget it, this system cannot be faught, lets stay out of this mess..."..........We ourselves are becoming static, like puppets whose puppeteers are these structures, and we get dynamic only when they pull our strings to support their rigidity with our silence........
Lets speak out....lets question.......lets bring a change.......Lets empower ourselves....Lets coem together to build a socirty that is rational and humane
The Freedom with Anonymity
Not so long ago… I experienced an eccentric side of human nature…alongwith a very dear friend and could not help but write about the sheer joy I felt at the moment of experience ..and how I cannot help but wonder at my own idiosyncrasy now ….
Lets give that moment a definition: “When monkeys and penguins danced at the terrace- freedom with Anonymity”…
I had always mocked at people who would say that their popularity was ultimately a menace and that they would much prefer if they could lead their lives being anonymous….not that I myself seek popularity but being anonymous, being unidentified…that wasn’t really food for thought in my case…until ofcourse now!
A few nights ago….I was travelling and took a halt at a very dear friend’s place for the night….. We were meeting after such a long period that our happiness gave us a high that was certainly higher than the most sought after mediums tend to do …And at midnight..we suddenly felt like going to the terrace of her building…
She stays in a society where neighbours are people who are separated just by a wall, and lanes are lucky labyrinthine spaces that must have went unnoticed to have remained alive …
Hence the terraces of most neighbouring blocks are joined and only separated by minimal divides of concrete…
So there we were….. laughing, cracking jokes, sharing cheap thrills from long forgotten experiences ..when suddenly I started dancing…Not that a choreographer would call it so..but I still prefer to say that I started dancing and inspired my friend also to join in the madness..(two bundles of clothes moving left right and occasionally a hand shooting in various directions)…So at 2:00 am in the morning…in cold….dark and friendly fog…we were dancing….For No one..Just No One could see us doing so…There was this enthralling sense of freedom…a sense of joy and power as if we owned that moment…
When suddenly we noticed an intruder in our privacy….The neighbour (probably someone who would have recognized us at daytime), was talking on the phone with his Lady Love (plain assumption) and had not yet noticed us because it was dark and foggy…
This negligence gave us further confidence to continue with our acrobatics and we started dancing with all the more vigour and fearlessness….After almost a decade..I told my mind and heart…. “Dance, Who Cares!!!”
When we realized that he really could not recognize us..we thought ….lets get mischievous….
Dear Reader…in times of normalcy …we are least expected to end up with such thoughts but that night…was an exception….we were fearless and free…for we could not be recognized…he couldn’t identify the two figures moving and oscillating and falling…And so the dance was followed by… us walking like penguins….jumping like monkeys….and trying to scare the poor soul by pretending to be ghosts…..yes we also took out sounds like that of a lion and dog and some more unidentifiable creatures… and we succeeded in bewildering him to the fullest and we could finally hear..him telling the person on the other end of the mobile network about two people behaving weirdly on the terrace …But his sound was soon dawned by our barbaric laughter….We laughed till we cried…and went back to sleep…only to wake up in the morning and curb the random spurts of laughter that kept emerging all day when the activities of the night resurfaced the mind….
Having been brought up with more NOT TO DO’s than To Do’s……I realized that its not just funny but also sad….Why could we not dance with such happiness had it been daytime? …..is anonymity our only medium to express certain hidden aspects ….. …(not always eccentric….some could be great hidden singers…some could be great thinkers….some could be great artists….some could be great lovers..and some the most vivacious..)…and what if someone else in such a moment could have taken eccentricities to dangerous heights…..?
I wonder…..
But yes..i sympathise with those who long for it…it is indeed a desirable state at times…
Lets give that moment a definition: “When monkeys and penguins danced at the terrace- freedom with Anonymity”…
I had always mocked at people who would say that their popularity was ultimately a menace and that they would much prefer if they could lead their lives being anonymous….not that I myself seek popularity but being anonymous, being unidentified…that wasn’t really food for thought in my case…until ofcourse now!
A few nights ago….I was travelling and took a halt at a very dear friend’s place for the night….. We were meeting after such a long period that our happiness gave us a high that was certainly higher than the most sought after mediums tend to do …And at midnight..we suddenly felt like going to the terrace of her building…
She stays in a society where neighbours are people who are separated just by a wall, and lanes are lucky labyrinthine spaces that must have went unnoticed to have remained alive …
Hence the terraces of most neighbouring blocks are joined and only separated by minimal divides of concrete…
So there we were….. laughing, cracking jokes, sharing cheap thrills from long forgotten experiences ..when suddenly I started dancing…Not that a choreographer would call it so..but I still prefer to say that I started dancing and inspired my friend also to join in the madness..(two bundles of clothes moving left right and occasionally a hand shooting in various directions)…So at 2:00 am in the morning…in cold….dark and friendly fog…we were dancing….For No one..Just No One could see us doing so…There was this enthralling sense of freedom…a sense of joy and power as if we owned that moment…
When suddenly we noticed an intruder in our privacy….The neighbour (probably someone who would have recognized us at daytime), was talking on the phone with his Lady Love (plain assumption) and had not yet noticed us because it was dark and foggy…
This negligence gave us further confidence to continue with our acrobatics and we started dancing with all the more vigour and fearlessness….After almost a decade..I told my mind and heart…. “Dance, Who Cares!!!”
When we realized that he really could not recognize us..we thought ….lets get mischievous….
Dear Reader…in times of normalcy …we are least expected to end up with such thoughts but that night…was an exception….we were fearless and free…for we could not be recognized…he couldn’t identify the two figures moving and oscillating and falling…And so the dance was followed by… us walking like penguins….jumping like monkeys….and trying to scare the poor soul by pretending to be ghosts…..yes we also took out sounds like that of a lion and dog and some more unidentifiable creatures… and we succeeded in bewildering him to the fullest and we could finally hear..him telling the person on the other end of the mobile network about two people behaving weirdly on the terrace …But his sound was soon dawned by our barbaric laughter….We laughed till we cried…and went back to sleep…only to wake up in the morning and curb the random spurts of laughter that kept emerging all day when the activities of the night resurfaced the mind….
Having been brought up with more NOT TO DO’s than To Do’s……I realized that its not just funny but also sad….Why could we not dance with such happiness had it been daytime? …..is anonymity our only medium to express certain hidden aspects ….. …(not always eccentric….some could be great hidden singers…some could be great thinkers….some could be great artists….some could be great lovers..and some the most vivacious..)…and what if someone else in such a moment could have taken eccentricities to dangerous heights…..?
I wonder…..
But yes..i sympathise with those who long for it…it is indeed a desirable state at times…
Saturday, January 16, 2010
States....(states of human selves...not the ones that have roads and houses and ministers fighting)
In the past four years i have repeated like a parrot "To design something, one must understand the context..." ...i still am loyal to the thought...however with a little more insight into how much more can be the context.....
When giving presentations..we would sulkingly divide our observations under Psychographics, demographics and ...(I would wonder why was it always a loathsome graphic)....and so on...
But Psychographics can actually be so aloof when we take a generic perspective.....
Leave alone a group.. ..the psychographics of a single person do not follow a straight path or a confirmed path...Our personalities transform..not just in years but also in hours, minutes and heavens forbid..seconds!
And its not just to do with our surroundings, and gender, and age, and religion ..its to do with everything we experienced throughout our lives (even something as basic as a bird defecating on you)..the enormisity of such experiences in undoubtedly inexplicable but what is even more fascinating is.. that any of the experiences that a person may have had..can resurface...and then maybe at that particular moment ..the previous understanding of the personality may not be anything near perfect...phew
So, during a single day a person could be dominated by some past experience and then maybe gradually resurface into a more rational present self to simply deter it all by borrowing someone else's standards of beliefs (mostly when they say "what would the SOCIETY say?" or "What would your relatives say?" and maybe "What would the street dog think?" and so on...) ....
So then..whom to cater.....?
Some of us have a more consistent self.. Some have an ever fluctuating self and some are fixated selves.....
It would be fascinating to own something that could cater to all these selves....just like the toys whose functions vary with age..maybe toys whose functions vary according to the momentscapes of these varying selves....
Just a thought.....by my adult self..... while the child self sleeps and the parent self is yet to evoke
When giving presentations..we would sulkingly divide our observations under Psychographics, demographics and ...(I would wonder why was it always a loathsome graphic)....and so on...
But Psychographics can actually be so aloof when we take a generic perspective.....
Leave alone a group.. ..the psychographics of a single person do not follow a straight path or a confirmed path...Our personalities transform..not just in years but also in hours, minutes and heavens forbid..seconds!
And its not just to do with our surroundings, and gender, and age, and religion ..its to do with everything we experienced throughout our lives (even something as basic as a bird defecating on you)..the enormisity of such experiences in undoubtedly inexplicable but what is even more fascinating is.. that any of the experiences that a person may have had..can resurface...and then maybe at that particular moment ..the previous understanding of the personality may not be anything near perfect...phew
So, during a single day a person could be dominated by some past experience and then maybe gradually resurface into a more rational present self to simply deter it all by borrowing someone else's standards of beliefs (mostly when they say "what would the SOCIETY say?" or "What would your relatives say?" and maybe "What would the street dog think?" and so on...) ....
So then..whom to cater.....?
Some of us have a more consistent self.. Some have an ever fluctuating self and some are fixated selves.....
It would be fascinating to own something that could cater to all these selves....just like the toys whose functions vary with age..maybe toys whose functions vary according to the momentscapes of these varying selves....
Just a thought.....by my adult self..... while the child self sleeps and the parent self is yet to evoke
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